I think I completely forgot about the point of Thanksgiving. I didn't think about what I was thankful for. I mean, I was thankful for the food that we had.. it was awesome, but other than that I didn't get around to making a list of the things I really appreciate in my life but forget about sometimes
I am thankful for my family and the love that surrounds me
I am thankful for the swim team and the support they have given me
I am thankful for my all my friends and their willingness to love me and stick with me
I am thankful for the kindness that I have felt from the people around me even though I often look past it
I am thankful for great food
I am thankful that I live in a great home, go to a great school, and live in an accepting time period
I am thankful for my health
I am thankful for a laptop
I am thankful for my passion for the people I love and my passion for music
I am thankful for my amazing swim coach
I am thankful for a nice bed
I am thankful for thanksgiving break
I am thankful that I have so many possibilities for my life open to me
Friday, November 26, 2010
Friday, November 12, 2010
I wrote a story. I think its done. I might add more, idk. This is not really what I think about the internet. It vaguely references my life
Dan looked out the rain beaten window, watching streaks roll down viciously. Two cars were parked out in his driveway. One was his mom's and the other was a man who Dan didn't know. Why the man was here, he wasn't quite sure.
It was just a Friday afternoon, an afternoon that lets people like Dan sink mindlessly into his bed, gazing and immersing himself inside of his laptop, engrossed in youtube and facebook, frequently switching between two vast and exciting worlds. The rain refused to stop, and Dan had no choice but to sit and allow himself to pretend that the real world was actually the pixeled screen of his laptop, the glowing radiance that lit up his gray and gloomy room. A picture of his friend's boating trip. The temporary thrill of a click. A video from that hot youtuber. The exhilaration of a moment- not knowing what's next- the browser loading the page section by section, from the top, slowly making its way down, to the bottom- making a mind grow impatient and a heart restless- the thrill- when in reality, behind the little thumbnail on the homepage was nothing more than a lure to the claws of desperation. Click after click, tap after tap, as fake as it was, the internet was the world where he wanted to stay, and where he wanted to fill himself with the hopeful yet fearful anticipation of the loading bar, which was more entertaining and much less fearful than the cruelty of real situations around him. The man outside was not in the least a friend of Dan, or welcome guest of his household. The man outside was one of the real fears in Dan's life, and there was nothing that he could do make him go away. There, Dan reclined in his room on a Friday afternoon, gazing silently yet intently at a livelier world while everything around him dwindled with each new click. Click. The posters of his favorite bands- he meant to buy more but he wasn't sure where to buy them, he had gotten the posters all from his friends- everything that surrounded Dan- the messy desk and stacked AP and ACT books- the pictures of his camping trip in Wisconsin- the trophies- all faded beyond his gaze, and didn't seem to matter as Dan lost himself to the idleness of his Friday afternoon.
It was just a Friday afternoon, an afternoon that lets people like Dan sink mindlessly into his bed, gazing and immersing himself inside of his laptop, engrossed in youtube and facebook, frequently switching between two vast and exciting worlds. The rain refused to stop, and Dan had no choice but to sit and allow himself to pretend that the real world was actually the pixeled screen of his laptop, the glowing radiance that lit up his gray and gloomy room. A picture of his friend's boating trip. The temporary thrill of a click. A video from that hot youtuber. The exhilaration of a moment- not knowing what's next- the browser loading the page section by section, from the top, slowly making its way down, to the bottom- making a mind grow impatient and a heart restless- the thrill- when in reality, behind the little thumbnail on the homepage was nothing more than a lure to the claws of desperation. Click after click, tap after tap, as fake as it was, the internet was the world where he wanted to stay, and where he wanted to fill himself with the hopeful yet fearful anticipation of the loading bar, which was more entertaining and much less fearful than the cruelty of real situations around him. The man outside was not in the least a friend of Dan, or welcome guest of his household. The man outside was one of the real fears in Dan's life, and there was nothing that he could do make him go away. There, Dan reclined in his room on a Friday afternoon, gazing silently yet intently at a livelier world while everything around him dwindled with each new click. Click. The posters of his favorite bands- he meant to buy more but he wasn't sure where to buy them, he had gotten the posters all from his friends- everything that surrounded Dan- the messy desk and stacked AP and ACT books- the pictures of his camping trip in Wisconsin- the trophies- all faded beyond his gaze, and didn't seem to matter as Dan lost himself to the idleness of his Friday afternoon.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
library
im at the library!!
I didn't dress up yesterday at school, i was planning to then i decided not to. I've been a vampire for the past like, 2 years only because im kinda pale and it's an excuse to put my hair in a mohawk.
That's a funny word, mohawk
Webassigns are annoying but they're really easy points.
This last week was the last week of the quarter and I spent the whole week at home by myself "doing work" (which means about 40 percent doing work and 60 percent being distracted). Now its saturday and I feel like I should go somewhere to watch a movie.
There was a dance at hersey high school organized by their gay straight alliance, and kids from schools all over the area went. I went last year. That's where I got myself into the whole network of gay people. Once you have enough gay friends on facebook you can tell who else is gay if they have enough of the same mutual gay friends. Anyway I didn't go this year because I had no permission form but I kinda wish I had gone.
I didn't dress up yesterday at school, i was planning to then i decided not to. I've been a vampire for the past like, 2 years only because im kinda pale and it's an excuse to put my hair in a mohawk.
That's a funny word, mohawk
Webassigns are annoying but they're really easy points.
This last week was the last week of the quarter and I spent the whole week at home by myself "doing work" (which means about 40 percent doing work and 60 percent being distracted). Now its saturday and I feel like I should go somewhere to watch a movie.
There was a dance at hersey high school organized by their gay straight alliance, and kids from schools all over the area went. I went last year. That's where I got myself into the whole network of gay people. Once you have enough gay friends on facebook you can tell who else is gay if they have enough of the same mutual gay friends. Anyway I didn't go this year because I had no permission form but I kinda wish I had gone.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
sorry for lack of posts
and sorry all of them have started to suck. Things are pretty good. My town has this new amazing library that is just like.. holy crap. There's not really another way to describe it. The one we had before was shitty though, so this new one pretty much compensates for that. I went there today and yesterday and I want to go more often. Going to the library is lame I know, but so am I, and this new one just makes me so excited like jizz my pants excited. And I'm pretty productive when I'm there, mainly cuz I can't go on facebook.
My love life is dwindling, not that it really existed anyway. A graduate from my high school who was on the swim team last year came out to me as bi, and is starting to come out to more people. He told me that if I hadn't come out that he probably wouldn't have either. It's like I broke the ice for him. He's a nice/weird yet in his own way likable guy. I don't look to be anything more than friends with him.
With my limited options and other issues in my life, I don't plan to have/ rely on the idea of having a boyfriend. I have PSATs tomorrow, lame
My love life is dwindling, not that it really existed anyway. A graduate from my high school who was on the swim team last year came out to me as bi, and is starting to come out to more people. He told me that if I hadn't come out that he probably wouldn't have either. It's like I broke the ice for him. He's a nice/weird yet in his own way likable guy. I don't look to be anything more than friends with him.
With my limited options and other issues in my life, I don't plan to have/ rely on the idea of having a boyfriend. I have PSATs tomorrow, lame
Sunday, September 26, 2010
everything
life is up and down and sometimes you have a good grip on it and sometimes you don't.
I have a lot of homework to do right now, its 9:20 PM on a sunday night, and I'm not sure what to do.
Does anyone have college advice? I'm not sure where I want to go. Will Yale take a 4.3 average GPA? How much does it help if my dad went there/being good at a sport?
Would it be worth going to a school like Yale? I don't even know what I want to be when I'm older
I'm thinking I would rather go to michigan. But I honestly don't know.
Does anyone have any advice regarding colleges or the process of going to/choosing colleges? I'm a junior in high school right now fyi.
Issues like those mentioned above are the ones that try to consume much of my life.
I have a lot of homework to do right now, its 9:20 PM on a sunday night, and I'm not sure what to do.
Does anyone have college advice? I'm not sure where I want to go. Will Yale take a 4.3 average GPA? How much does it help if my dad went there/being good at a sport?
Would it be worth going to a school like Yale? I don't even know what I want to be when I'm older
I'm thinking I would rather go to michigan. But I honestly don't know.
Does anyone have any advice regarding colleges or the process of going to/choosing colleges? I'm a junior in high school right now fyi.
Issues like those mentioned above are the ones that try to consume much of my life.
Saturday, September 11, 2010
kjsadfajskdn1
I don't even know why I have a blog. I wonder if writing down my life actually benefits me, or if it would be better if I just moved on with my life and think about the future rather than reflecting on the past.
I still think nick ayler is the hottest guy ever.
I took the ACT today. I have ADD medication that was prescribed to be in seventh grade. I never take the meds unless I have a test that day or need to concentrate for something. This morning I took two pills which was not a good idea. My heart was beating fast and I got all jittery. It was kinda weird. I've calmed down now though. It's 3 in the afternoon and I took them at 8. They're supposed to last 12 hours. At least they help me concentrate.
I hope everyone's doing well. I was kinda unhappy the past week, then last night I cheered up. School itself is pretty depressing because my classes are so hard.
I've realized that there are certain people who make me happy and people who make me unhappy when I'm around them. There are some people who I think are my friends but usually just make me feel pretty shitty when I'm with. It's time for me to avoid those people.
I still think nick ayler is the hottest guy ever.
I took the ACT today. I have ADD medication that was prescribed to be in seventh grade. I never take the meds unless I have a test that day or need to concentrate for something. This morning I took two pills which was not a good idea. My heart was beating fast and I got all jittery. It was kinda weird. I've calmed down now though. It's 3 in the afternoon and I took them at 8. They're supposed to last 12 hours. At least they help me concentrate.
I hope everyone's doing well. I was kinda unhappy the past week, then last night I cheered up. School itself is pretty depressing because my classes are so hard.
I've realized that there are certain people who make me happy and people who make me unhappy when I'm around them. There are some people who I think are my friends but usually just make me feel pretty shitty when I'm with. It's time for me to avoid those people.
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