Hey

It's been a while since I posted here.. So much time has passed since my first entry on this blog. I'm going to school at Northwestern University and I'm on winter break now. I really like college.

Sorry I've been inconsistent with posting

A lot of my life is on this blog. I've been open with this blog about things that I've barely told anyone in real life. There's something special here that's always nice for me to revisit and look back upon.

I don't see myself really continuing much with this blog. I am no longer in high school or in the closet. I don't swim too much anymore.

Thank you to anyone who has read my blog, or has commented on my posts. I've really appreciated it. All the comments I have received have been nonjudgemental and comforting.

helloooo

Oh hi.
I feel oppressed in my room. I should go out moreeeeeee

Listening to the killers live is awesome

Growing up must suck.

I've felt pretty shitty lately, like this past year. Like, I've been happy but always I just have this empty feeling deep down. I don't know why. I feel like all of a sudden I'm questioning everything. Cuz I have to go to college and make all these decisions for myself. Also I'm a senior and I feel like I have to bear the weight of leading the way for other people. I can't just follow the older kids. Maybe it's because I don't know what I have to look forward to that I feel empty.

I'll do new things with the intention of "maybe this will snap me out of it" like I'll see friends more or I'll smoke or I'll go a week high on coffee. Like I'm searching for a groove or a rhythm that will help carry me through this but I always go back down to feeling meh.

Maybe I'll be religious when I'm older.

Saw the hunger games. Josh Hutcherson is sooooo cute umph

I got into Northwestern yay

college update

hey y'all
just wanted to let you guys know that I got into University of Michigan and Illinois! Yay! I'm still waiting on my reach schools, so, well, we'll just have to see what happens.
I have a tonnn of homework
ok byee

Hi!

Hi guys

I'm currently contemplating deleting my facebook. I wonder if it will be worth it.
I think of facebook like xbox. Lots of my friends have xboxes and communicate through video games. But I'm glad I don't have one, because I know it's a waste of time.
Facebook, I've realized, has been more of a drain than it has been a positive addition to my social life. I think it gives me the illusion that I'm being social, while in reality I'm blankly staring at a screen.

I think the best thing to do, would be to delete it. However, I'll tell my friends that I'm deleting it, and that if they ever need to contact me, the best thing to do would be to text or call me.

I was talking to my friend Peter two days ago who has been facebook-free for two years, re-activating it temporarily for a few weeks when he was running for class president, and when he sent an angry message to a friend's ex-girlfriend. He tells me how it makes him feel happy every time he thinks about how he doesn't have a facebook, and how most things there are just trivial things.. and gossip. But he put it very well, and I couldn't help but agree.

If I cared less about what people thought, I'd probably have an easier time letting go of facebook. However, having a tool for flaunting my social life appeals to me a little. I can put up a virtual version of me, and I can make it look however I want.

It's a matter of whether the good outweigh the bad, which it doesn't. It's kind of scary how much people care about and put time into facebook, myself included. I want real relationships and not dwell in past events that don't pertain to me at all. I want a real life, not a virtual one.