hello all

I've finally taken more steps to coming out. I have a few friends that know already, and it's gradually spreading. It's spreading very slowly though. I told my Polish Catholic friend a few days ago and he took it really really well. He didn't believe me at first when I told him and thought it was a joke but then I told him to call my friend who knew and ask him about it. So he did and he believed me. Then he was just fine with it and asked a lot of questions. I'm glad that he knows because I was afraid he was gonna flip out. I mean, he's Catholic and I've heard him say mean things about gay people and that he doesn't like them. I used to think he was one of the biggest homophobes that I knew. I guess if he's okay with it I shouldn't worry too much about other people.
I've also changed my 'interested in' on facebook to 'men'. Maybe people will think it's a joke. But it makes me feel bold to know that I'm technically out of the closet on facebook.
I think a lot about the effects that coming out will have on my life. I always change my opinion on the subject, and some days I'm more confident about it than others. I wish I was always confident. It's very inconsistent for me. Some days I'll feel fearless and bold but those days are always followed by days where I feel self conscious and shy. I hope I won't regret any of the decisions that I make regarding coming out. But so far everyone I've told has been 100 percent okay with it and has been really chill about it. Even the straight guys.
I know that I think way too much about coming out. This blog entry somewhat proves it.