I wrote a story. I think its done. I might add more, idk. This is not really what I think about the internet. It vaguely references my life

Dan looked out the rain beaten window, watching streaks roll down viciously. Two cars were parked out in his driveway. One was his mom's and the other was a man who Dan didn't know. Why the man was here, he wasn't quite sure.
It was just a Friday afternoon, an afternoon that lets people like Dan sink mindlessly into his bed, gazing and immersing himself inside of his laptop, engrossed in youtube and facebook, frequently switching between two vast and exciting worlds. The rain refused to stop, and Dan had no choice but to sit and allow himself to pretend that the real world was actually the pixeled screen of his laptop, the glowing radiance that lit up his gray and gloomy room. A picture of his friend's boating trip. The temporary thrill of a click. A video from that hot youtuber. The exhilaration of a moment- not knowing what's next- the browser loading the page section by section, from the top, slowly making its way down, to the bottom- making a mind grow impatient and a heart restless- the thrill- when in reality, behind the little thumbnail on the homepage was nothing more than a lure to the claws of desperation. Click after click, tap after tap, as fake as it was, the internet was the world where he wanted to stay, and where he wanted to fill himself with the hopeful yet fearful anticipation of the loading bar, which was more entertaining and much less fearful than the cruelty of real situations around him. The man outside was not in the least a friend of Dan, or welcome guest of his household. The man outside was one of the real fears in Dan's life, and there was nothing that he could do make him go away. There, Dan reclined in his room on a Friday afternoon, gazing silently yet intently at a livelier world while everything around him dwindled with each new click. Click. The posters of his favorite bands- he meant to buy more but he wasn't sure where to buy them, he had gotten the posters all from his friends- everything that surrounded Dan- the messy desk and stacked AP and ACT books- the pictures of his camping trip in Wisconsin- the trophies- all faded beyond his gaze, and didn't seem to matter as Dan lost himself to the idleness of his Friday afternoon.

library

im at the library!!
I didn't dress up yesterday at school, i was planning to then i decided not to. I've been a vampire for the past like, 2 years only because im kinda pale and it's an excuse to put my hair in a mohawk.
That's a funny word, mohawk
Webassigns are annoying but they're really easy points.
This last week was the last week of the quarter and I spent the whole week at home by myself "doing work" (which means about 40 percent doing work and 60 percent being distracted). Now its saturday and I feel like I should go somewhere to watch a movie.
There was a dance at hersey high school organized by their gay straight alliance, and kids from schools all over the area went. I went last year. That's where I got myself into the whole network of gay people. Once you have enough gay friends on facebook you can tell who else is gay if they have enough of the same mutual gay friends. Anyway I didn't go this year because I had no permission form but I kinda wish I had gone.

sorry for lack of posts

and sorry all of them have started to suck. Things are pretty good. My town has this new amazing library that is just like.. holy crap. There's not really another way to describe it. The one we had before was shitty though, so this new one pretty much compensates for that. I went there today and yesterday and I want to go more often. Going to the library is lame I know, but so am I, and this new one just makes me so excited like jizz my pants excited. And I'm pretty productive when I'm there, mainly cuz I can't go on facebook.
My love life is dwindling, not that it really existed anyway. A graduate from my high school who was on the swim team last year came out to me as bi, and is starting to come out to more people. He told me that if I hadn't come out that he probably wouldn't have either. It's like I broke the ice for him. He's a nice/weird yet in his own way likable guy. I don't look to be anything more than friends with him.
With my limited options and other issues in my life, I don't plan to have/ rely on the idea of having a boyfriend. I have PSATs tomorrow, lame

everything

life is up and down and sometimes you have a good grip on it and sometimes you don't.
I have a lot of homework to do right now, its 9:20 PM on a sunday night, and I'm not sure what to do.

Does anyone have college advice? I'm not sure where I want to go. Will Yale take a 4.3 average GPA? How much does it help if my dad went there/being good at a sport?
Would it be worth going to a school like Yale? I don't even know what I want to be when I'm older
I'm thinking I would rather go to michigan. But I honestly don't know.

Does anyone have any advice regarding colleges or the process of going to/choosing colleges? I'm a junior in high school right now fyi.

Issues like those mentioned above are the ones that try to consume much of my life.

kjsadfajskdn1

I don't even know why I have a blog. I wonder if writing down my life actually benefits me, or if it would be better if I just moved on with my life and think about the future rather than reflecting on the past.
I still think nick ayler is the hottest guy ever.
I took the ACT today. I have ADD medication that was prescribed to be in seventh grade. I never take the meds unless I have a test that day or need to concentrate for something. This morning I took two pills which was not a good idea. My heart was beating fast and I got all jittery. It was kinda weird. I've calmed down now though. It's 3 in the afternoon and I took them at 8. They're supposed to last 12 hours. At least they help me concentrate.
I hope everyone's doing well. I was kinda unhappy the past week, then last night I cheered up. School itself is pretty depressing because my classes are so hard.


I've realized that there are certain people who make me happy and people who make me unhappy when I'm around them. There are some people who I think are my friends but usually just make me feel pretty shitty when I'm with. It's time for me to avoid those people.

Nick Ayler is the hottest guy ever

http://manofaustin.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/NickAyler_thumb.jpg

hey bros

So this whole new 'bro' thing is developing where everyone calls each other 'bro' or variations on bro like 'broseph' or 'brochacho' or 'bromosexual' (lol). Basically a manly term of endearment. My friend peter made a group on facebook where basically everyone contributes to a long list of 'bro' words (it got pretty popular, it has like 200 members). I used to never call anyone bro but now I've been starting to. It's a good substitute if you don't know someone's name and you come off as friendly.
It's pretty cloudy outside and it was raining hard during school today. I don't really mind what the weather is long as it's not really cold outside.
So I'm finding out about more people that know that I'm gay. The guy I told not too long ago told a guy who's on the swim team and was on my relay team at state last year. Then apparently some of the college guys found out and were just like 'I'm glad I graduated before that happened'. Whatever. No one really treats me differently though. Guys are probably more uncomfortable around me but for the most part they act the same. Sometimes they're nicer. Some (few) intentionally flirt with me. I don't get it. I wish I knew the mentality of a straight guy.

I'm gonna go time the girl's swim meet soon. We're going out to eat first and my friends picking me up soon. I'm so glad I'm part of the swim team. It's nice being part of something bigger.

My days have been really mixed. I'll have a shitty day one day and feel like crap then feel great the next day. I just wana learn to feel good all the time ...I can really use a boyfriend

Look up Sia- Soon We'll be Found on youtube. I love that song and video. Then there's this cool animated video that my friend showed me about a kid and a spider.. it's really good. It's called 'Story From North America' it's on youtube. It's a song I want to fall asleep to.

White Winter Hymnals by Fleet Foxes is good. So is: Wagon Wheel by Old Crow Medicine Show, Reckoner by Radiohead (<-- everyone must hear this song. If you haven't look it up), Sleepyhead by Passion Pit, My Love by Sia.. and thats it.