buddhism

Well not really buddhism. But meditation.
We had a guy come into my eastern religions class to meditate with us and teach us how to do it. He seemed to be around thirty or forty. At first he came off as kinda awkward cuz he had a deep forced voice and he talked kinda fast. So he told us to close our eyes and forget about everything. Since finals is coming up I've been worrying a lot so that's been hard to do. He then said to just exist. Nothing matters except the present so forget about the future and the past. Stuff like that. Anyway, he said more stuff but that was the main idea of it. Then we got to ask him questions and he turned out to be really cool and he had a really sweet and sort of nervous personality which i found really cute. We asked him questions and apparently he decided to go to Buddhism because it offered a solution to the problem of human suffering which he couldn't find in the catholic church at that time. He identifies as Buddhist and Catholic at the same time and he talked about how some of his family members stopped talking to him because he became a Buddhist.
Someone asked if he would raise his kids Buddhist and he said that he wasn't married.
I see him as a sort of guy who is lonely and sad and self loathing but at the same time is looking for someone because he has a lot of love to offer. Maybe he's gay. What a sad life to be gay and have a deeply catholic family.

Anyway I went up to him after class to talk.. He's not very attractive but he has dark hair and dark eyes and he has a very solid presence. He was sorta cute actually. I asked him what I could to if I wanted to start practicing meditation by myself at home. He was very nice and said to spend five minutes in the morning sitting on the side of my bed and close my eyes and just focus on my breathing. He said that if I do this enough that I'll eventually be able to do it for longer periods of time.

So I left class and told people that I was gonna become a Buddhist. A lot of people were like wow don't do that or like wow that's gay. So I stopped telling people cuz I don't wana seem like some poser Buddhist. But I'm gonna try meditating the morning.